Burnout is NEVER Wasted ..Working Through the Burn

by Deb Mertin
(Kitchener, Ontario Canada)

In October of 2010 I was interviewed for a talk show in California on the topic of burnout. How I transitioned through it, what I learned about myself and how I would view it today.
I can confidently share with you today that burnout is NEVER a waste AND you can come out on the other side, stronger, more vibrant and alive than ever before. I am living proof!

So I will back up my story to share how I ended up hitting the wall of burnout in October 2008.

My job as the role of Director of Operation was in a large multifaceted church overseeing a large staff, working as a liaison with the board , finance and congregation. I am a Type A, get it done yesterday, kind of person. I thrive by unearthing problems and finding solutions and strategies to obtain measurable goals. The downside, is that I take on far more than is healthy and I had a problem saying no to people because I knew I could do the job BUT in realistic terms, should I do the job?

The first two years were fine, and into the third year I started to experience incredible physical, emotional and mental exhaustion. I was addicted to my blackberry, and answerable to many individuals. I soon realized that I was slowly going into a dark hole but not sure how to get out.

People would ask if I was okay and I would say, "of course". It wasn't until one day in the grocery store pushing the cart that I welled up in tears realizing that I was about to collapse and thought how would I explain this.

So I tried to resign three times and it wasn't until the 3rd try that it was accepted. You see Type A people are valuable to an organization... no matter the cost to yourself!


The Valley

The morning after our Canadian Thanksgiving, I woke up thinking, "what have I done". You might recall the fall of October 2008 financial crisis, Fannie Mae Freddy Mac. My husband was diagnosed with melanoma and I had just quit my job. I felt like a complete failure.

I had let down myself, my staff team, the church, my family and I had no idea of what was next. No plan, no strategy, - not my style.

It took six months of rest, and being quiet to realize that I was going to be okay. There is never an opportune time to resign; there will always be excuses why I shouldn't resign. It is okay to just be and not 'do' but this was not my operating style or desire. Learning to first grieve what you have left behind is essential or you cannot move forward.

The golden nugget came from this realization:
I will be successful because of who I am , not because of who I am not.

Go to your core - the reason you were good at what you did before this life experience was because you were resilient . You can face the resistance of defeat with the resiliency of your strengths that God has given you.

It is going to take courage and you have wisdom that is available to us if we ask Him. Psalms 90:12 says "So teach us to number our days so that we may steadily gain wisdom."

Wisdom says - walk away, get back to your core values, your family, your physical healthy state. Emotionally and spiritually you need to be replenished. The organization or company will go on without you.

The story of your burnout is such a small part of the bigger story that God has for your life. It may seem big now but it is only a small part of how He is going to shape you.

The tool that helped me move forward was using a strength assessment such as the one I use with my clients with Ministry Insights that can help you understand who you are uniquely created.

You learn your natural style of problem solving, how you process information, how you manage change and how you face risk. What happens when you go into a stressful environment and how your adapted style changes from your core style.

Perhaps you should never have taken on all those tasks because your behaviour and personality style are not conducive to that environment.

I worked with some amazing women over the last couple of years - Jan Silvious and Lynda Elliott; and together we talked about fear and gratitude not being able to live in the same domain. So I learned to be grateful for this new chapter and not fearful about what might be next in my life. The uncertainty brought a peace and stillness that would never happened without the burnout phase.


Take Aways:

Learn from the Burn! So you never have to go through it again ? if you don?t learn you will go through it again, much harder and much deeper. These dark times are to teach us to be wise so don?t? be a fool.

Neither my title nor my profession is who I am.
God created me with unique strengths and abilities which are so amazing that are not dependent on me burning myself into the ground. Always have wise people speak into your life.
You have a choice to either stay in the valley for a long long time or you can pick yourself up and move forward.

Your business is not dependent on you alone to be successful. The Lord doesn't need you to make it successful. He has asked you to partner with Him, not to do it alone, and burn yourself out.

Just do it ? you owe it to yourself and to those you love and in obedience to the God who created you!. Go resign!

The words above are a small snapshot of my burnout chapter. It is one event in a lifetime of events and today I can see His hand print on every phase of this transition. No regrets, no looking back , just excited to move forward and see what He has planned next. He never ceases to amaze me and I am so so thankful for His presence in my life.

Deb Mertin
Intentional Life Coaching